Hello, my name is Genie for the ones who don't know. So I'm guessing this is the part where I tell you about myself? Yeah, I think it is. lol Well... I'm weird, I'm crazy, I can be kinda fun, I'm confident when it comes to the things I know and love, I'm sarcastic but only in fun ways. I love to make people laugh and help them when they need me too. Sometimes even when they don't need me too. I'm shy but I love attection but only from certein people. I kinda say I seem open in a way but I'm not I am pretty hidden. Not very many people ever know what is going on in my life nor what I am thinking. That is mostly cause people don't ask. But there is one person who does, he asks all the time and he is the only one who knows what is wrong with me and why. This person knows who he is. He points out the good things in me, that is one of the reason I love him so much. I think he would say I can be random... but that is something I love be to. Without being random people would never be surprised. I think as you all see I am different. That is what makes me, me and that is something I have came to terms with and I hope you will to. Now for something more serious, I am an artist in more way then one. I love to paint, draw, and take pictures. I think it is awesome that we can capture a moment forever and always have a reminder of it. I am going to college soon to be an photographer for that reason. I have my dreams set high, I will admit that. Only because I am going to reach them...
What hurts the most is when everything is so close you think it's perfect, but then that realm shatters before you can even think anything is going wrong. It just leaves with so many things to be said and expressed before it all ends. Although all you can really do is stand there an watch everything you once knew walk away. Then you just blame it all on yourself and try to make everything seem okay because you can't tell anyone what happened... cause that wouldn't be right. So you keep it all in tortuing your mind but at the same time convincing yourself you are, "just fine". But knowing something is wrong, just to scared to admit it. No one would listen at this point anyways. You try to get help from the one that hurt you, since they are willing to try. Even though you don't know what to say and he doesn't understand. Nothing gets better and the conversation ends with him stating, "I just need time and then maybe we can try." Your scared that you don't have time and scared of what time may bring. This is a first for you, you have never been scared like this before. And you have no one to be there. That's what hurts the most...
Just a' wonderin' to myself a littleposted Mar 22nd 2006, 10:00PM
Mood: Heartbroken
Music: Nothingness
Well it's been a while since I have put anything on this site. So where should I start? Well lets see... I'm staying the night at my friend Kecia's and she is on the phone with her boyfriend so I thought I would drop some lines on here. It's been over a month since I last talked to Jimi and I haven't slept very well since then either. I wonder if he will read this, I hope so cause I'd like him to know what is going on in my life. I'll be moving in with my dad soon in about a week I believe and I'll soon then be quiting my horrible slave waitress job. Giorgio was suppose to come in an visit for the weekend but like I figured would happen he isn't even talking to me because he don't wanna tell me he isn't coming. My hopes are shot down once again... so much for having those. Aunt Carol just keeps getting a worse attitude with me everyday I never do anything right in her eyes. She pretty much calls me trash and that I'm not important. Ever since Jimi and I stopped speaking I haven't had the inspiration to do anything or the right frame of mind to even think everything is going to be okei cause I don't have him to help me though it anymore. An I can't talk to anyone else about it. Well mom is in jail again but this time she isn't getting out for a while and she is looking at 2 to 10 years. Unless someone bonds her out and she gets a job and a steady place to live. So where did all of those so called friends she had go? Anywhere away from her now... exactly where I thought they would be. And her oh so godly good boyfriend of hers is with them. I finally got my phone back they ended up having to replace it because it got liquid damnage and say no to working ever again. But at least I don't have that stupid ass loaner phone anymore. Prom is also coming up soon and I don't even wanna go anymore. I am going to end up going alone and be depressed and sad the whole there and after I get home. But I got my dress and I am thinking about getting a different one if I do go because I don't really wanna wear that one now. I one I am wanting to get now is black and is a complete different style of dress. And my prom shoes are going to be red and black they are sooooo pretty. The necklace I got is handmade and it made with everything but a kitchen sink. Once I get everything I'll take a picture for you all to see. If anyone cares. I don't really know what else to say but I never really have ever known to start with. I just kinda go with it. Oh yeah, I started missing alot more school here lately and I have been sleeping alot I don't know why maybe I am getting depressed again and need to go back to the doctor. Who knows? Well Jimi if you are reading this I miss you and I really wanna talk to you again. Please at least leave me a comment so I'll know you are still around. I love ya' and I can't wait to talk to you again. I'm still here for you if you ever need to talk to me, just call me or leave me a message. I have the same number as I used to so don't ever hesitate to call me because I am still your friend and I am here for you no matter what happens. I promise. Good night and sweet dreams.
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